What Veteran’s Day Means to Me

There are always multiple days a year that are marked on my calendar at home that represent me taking extra time that day to think about our military.  Whether it be the day a friend died in combat, my husband’s service anniversary, the date of an upcoming deployment or, if I am lucky, the evening of a spouse get together, there are little red circles around the dates.  But none are more important or poignant for me than Veteran’s Day.

This is my guy.  The person who reminds me on a daily basis to appreciate him and his coworkers.  The man who has been to war more times than I care to think about, has missed countless birthdays, holidays and special moments.  The father and husband who will, yet again, miss Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, our oldest daughter’s birthday and his own before making it home to us again.  And yet when I see his face I don’t think of the things that he has missed or the strain that it can be to be both mother and father while he is away.  I see the pride in his job, the love of his country and the joy he gets from protecting us all.  He is my hero in so many ways.

Yet as a military wife, I understand what a thankless job defending our great nation can be.  People assume things about our service members that are hurtful and untrue.  Things like, “They don’t have any options, they aren’t smart enough to do anything else.”  Or my personal favorite: “They have great benefits and free housing.  They get paid more than they deserve.”

Let me set the record straight here…my husband is an incredibly intelligent man who had a 4.0 GPA while double majoring in biology and sports kinesiology to be pre med in college.  He chose to finish college, paying for it on our own, and then join the military afterwards.  Yes, he could have become an officer, but he decided that he would enlist and start at the bottom as that is where his chosen career field lay.  Did he have other options?  Absolutely!  In fact, he still does.  He gets multiple job offers a year from people who are so impressed with him.  Much better paying job options, no less!  And to be honest, doctors and surgeons are always trying to sway him to join their ranks.  So to assume that any service member is forced into the job as a way to make ends meet is offensive and just plain wrong.  Not to mention that the pay is usually just enough to make ends meet, if you are lucky.

When people think that we get free housing and other fantastic benefits, they are pretty far from the mark.  While there is housing available on bases, it is usually sub-standard and it most certainly is not free.  The military is given an “allowance” for housing.  This is part of the pay package and still most people are just barely able to pay their bills.  If you choose to live on base, the entire allowance is taken to cover rent and utilities.  If you live off base, the allowance  usually doesn’t fully cover the cost of housing.

Yes, we do have insurance that can have great coverage, but it also comes with a cost.  My children’s doctor is almost an hour away, where we are just a number in a line, in a process that can take hours just for a well child visit.  There are tens of thousands of people who are seen at the same “office” so it is never a quick process.

But I say these things not to complain, because in reality I love my life and am so thankful for the opportunities we have.  I say it as a reminder to not assume things about anyone, let alone those tasked with protecting our freedoms.

In a time when war seems so far away, many forget that our military is still half a world away, working tirelessly day and night.  They are still away from their families, in hostile environments and facing real dangers each and every day.  We have been at war for so long now that it is almost possible to put it in the back of your mind and forget, but please don’t do that.  Think of these men and women every day, be aware of their sacrifice and that of their families.  Understand that our entire military is there by choice.  Each and every person has had to re-enlist at least once since 9/11, so everyone is there understanding that they will literally be fighting for our country.  They chose to fight for you and for me.  For our rights, safety and freedoms.  Take solace in the fact that you can get a good night’s sleep because they are keeping the watch for you.

And please, I beg of you, remember to thank a vet.  Not just the ones you see in uniform either.  Remember that sweet old man you saw at the grocery store in his Vietnam Vet hat?  Walk up to him, look him in the eye, shake his hand and give him a heartfelt “Thank you.”  Because regardless of how you feel politically, these are real people, who sacrifice it all for our great land.

My kiddos and I celebrating the 4th of July while our guy was deployed.

This Veteran’s Day, please take a moment to look past the day off of work and the great sales in all of the stores.  That is not what this day is about.  Go out of your way to make your appreciation known and be thankful.

I know that I will forever be thankful for all of those who have chosen to serve, chosen to give of themselves and protect my family and myself.  I hope that you feel the same because this is what Veteran’s Day means to me.

If you are looking for ways to make a difference this Veteran’s Day, the USO is incredible.  Send a letter, grant a wish or help fund scholarships for children of fallen service members at A Million Thanks or help with care packages at Give 2 The Troops.  There are countless other options, just do a quick internet search and pick what works best for you.  That small show of support can make the world of difference to a service member.